Where Are Ron and Ellen?
Indonesia: 30 November 2010 - 15 March 2011
Ron and Ellen in Bau Bau, Sulawesi, Indonesia
Bira Beach - Makassar, 15-27 February 2011
Put Your Affairs in Order
To see photos of Bira Beach, click on the thumbnail at the left.
Friday 25 February 2011
Makassar, Sulawesi, IndonesiaDear Family and Friends,
We are back in Makassar, the third largest city in Indonesia, where we will meet our friend Thierry, who arrives from France late this afternoon. We had planned to return here yesterday, and we did, but certainly not in the way we had expected.
We spent 9 days in Bira, a tiny beach town, staying at Sunshine Guest House, which had very basic rooms with shared bath, but a spectacular location on a hill with both 1st and 2nd story covered terraces overlooking the water, good food, interesting travelers (from all over Europe) coming and going, an American expat owner (Matthew, called Mattheo here, shortened to Theo), a wonderful Indonesian staff, and Amir, Theo's associate, right-hand man, manager, and close friend.
As days at the beach do, time slipped by without us really being able to account for it. During the hottest part of the day, we spent hours sitting on the shady and breezy terraces and reading. We walked on the beach, and most days picked a destination for a longer walk. Bira is a peninsula, what was once long ago a coral reef, so the center rises up steeply in many places, and, with the exception of the two beaches on the west and east sides, drops to the water in cliffs. The two beaches are quite different, with the west side, where we stayed, having cliffs dropping down to a long and broad curve of sandy beach - that's where almost all of the accomodations and tiny restaurants are - and a very big fairly shallow stretch of water before a deep drop-off. On the east side the cliffs are further back from the water, and there is a long stretch of coconut grove (lots of people, especially fishermen, living there), and a very narrow strip of beach. The harbor, with fishing boats as well as big ferries that carry people and trucks and cars and buses to other islands, is at the east beach. Also at the east beach, back in the coconut groves, are boat builders, constructing huge traditional boats made completely of wood. They were using power hand tools, drills, saws, planes, but other than that had no cranes or other big mechanical devices. The boats are beautiful, but we were told the boat-building will not continue too much longer because the huge ironwood trees used to build them are almost gone.
We spent a lot of time talking to the other travelers who were at the guest house. It isn't easy to get to Bira, and it is small, so most people that make it there tend to be those who have traveled a lot, and have lots of good travel stories. We spent a lot of time talking to Amir, and Ellen had several computer tutorial sessions with him, teaching him to transfer photos to and from his laptop, and how to do do some basic editing of them, reducing size, simple contrast and color adjustment, cropping. He has a friend in Scotland he wants to work with to create a web page for the guest house. Both of us, and especially Ron, spent hours and hours talking with Theo. We hit it off really well, and very few Americans, especially older ones, come through.
Tuesday evening Theo was not feeling well, and Wednesday was much worse, very short of breath and with rapid heartbeat, so Wednesday afternoon Amir and two of the women left with him, planning to take him to Makassar (6 hours) where there are big hospitals. They got as far as Bulakumba, a medium-sized city an hour away, and it was clear Theo was worse, so they went to the hospital there, arriving at 6 pm. Theo died of heart failure at 10 pm. We were stunned, and his Indonesian staff, whom he considers his Indonesian family, are devastated. In our many conversations with Theo, we'd learned that he has a fair bit of family money in a trust fund in the US, and uses a lot of his income from that to help people here (where small amounts go a very long way). In addition to salaries for the staff, all of whom, including Amir, are completely dependent on him, he has paid tuition for Amir's daughter who is in her last year of medical school, and pays for the schooling of several other children or siblings of his staff. The guest house seems generally to be self-sufficient, although he said that March last year he had no guests and he had to put $100 in to keep things going. Theo has an Indonesian ex-wife. They are divorced, but are/were coming near the end of a custody battle over their 2.5 year old daughter - Theo was fighting for joint custody and from what Amir and Theo said, was definitely going to win, but the process moves slowly here. Theo had cancelled the will that left his estate to his now ex-wife, and had made another will (his lawyer is in Bali). The estate goes to his daughter when she is grown. Theo's brother in the US is the executor of the estate, Amir and Hari, a friend of Theo's in Bali, are the guardians for the daughter (to disburse funds for her as needed) and trustees for the funds, with the assumption that Amir would be responsible for the guest house and would continue helping people in the way Theo had been doing. All the local bank accounts, including the business account, are in Theo's name.
Amir called us from the hospital after Theo died, asking us to help him sort things out, and of course we agreed. When he got home from the hospital, Amir and Ron tried to figure out how to contact Theo's brother Mark and friends in the US (his parents are dead), but all the contact was by email and not phone, and the email account was password protected, so of course they could not get into that. The lawyer in Bali was not available during the night.
The revised plan for Thursday was that instead of taking the bus back to Makassar, we would go with Amir and the two women, first to the bank in Bulakumba to try and get money for the burial and other expenses, then to the hospital to collect the body and pay the bill, and then an ambulance would take the body to Makassar with us following. He will be buried in Makassar, but also in Makassar there is a morgue with cold storage, which they do not have in Bulakumba.
So that is what we did, leaving Bira at 8 in the morning, going first to the bank in Bulakumba, where Ron and Amir spent about an hour in the office and were able to get an advance which Amir hopes will cover expenses. Then on to the hospital, where there was a lot of paperwork. We waited some more while Amir and a person whom we think was the imam for the small mosque at the hospital, washed the body (they first had to bring big jugs of water from somewhere) and wrapped it in the cloth Amir had brought with him. Finally, about 2:30 in the afternoon, we left for Makassar, following the ambulance. At home in the US, there would be no rush when transporting a body, but here the ambulance sped for the entire 4.5 hour trip with siren going and lights flashing and us following with flashers on. All along the way, there were multiple cell phone conversations. Amir reached Harry, a friend of Theo's on Bali, who had Theo's brother Mark's email address and sent email to him telling him about Theo's death and asking him to call Amir. Harry also talked to the lawyer. Lots and lots of phone calls back and forth, including with the US consulate. In Makassar we went to the morgue, part of a huge modern hospital complex, did the paperwork there, and left the body. Then to our hotel (Amir had made our reservations early in the week). All of us went to dinner at a sort of food court nearby, then Amir and Ana and Muli went off to where they were staying and we went back to our room. Ellen went to bed, but Ron, who by now also had Mark's email address, sent email to Mark describing what had gone on during the day.
We have just finished breakfast. We've talked with Amir on the phone this morning, and neither he nor Ron have heard from Mark. Amir has said for the last two days that if he does not have instructions otherwise from Mark, he will bury Theo today. So the plan is for Amir to come here in about an hour to pick us up, and then we will all (Amir, Ana, Muli, and us) go to the burial ceremony.
So - after the last few days, we say to all of you: life is short, tell your family and friends you love them, be kind to friends and strangers, and in the words of the prophet Micah, do justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God. And make sure your affairs are in order: update your wills, make sure you have appropriate powers of attorney, that your bank accounts have beneficiaries or co-signers, that family and friends have emergency contact information, and that you have made appropriate legal provisions for anyone or anything you are supporting. Doing those things is an act of love.
Love to all,
Ellen and Ron
The Rest of the Story
For a few photos of the funeral, click on the thumbnail at the left.
Makassar, Sulawesi, Indonesia
Sunday 27 February 2011Dear Family and Friends,
Here is the end of the story about Mattheo's death and funeral.
On Friday morning, Ron and Amir went to an internet cafe that had a printer, and made multiple copies of the message from Theo's brothers in the US giving Amir permission to bury Mattheo. After that, we all (Amir, Ana, Muli, Ron, Ellen) went to the central police office so Amir could give a copy of the message to them. They needed it in order to give permission for the burial. (We are not clear whether one needs permission for any burial, or whether all this is needed because Mattheo is a US citizen.) With the document in hand, official permission was quickly given.
From the police office we went back to the big hospital complex where the morgue is located, and again, with the printout of the email sent by the family, all the paperwork was quickly completed. Amir had arranged for an ambulance (ambulances seem to also serve multiple purposes here) to carry the body from the morgue to the cemetery. So we then followed the ambulance (siren going, lights flashing) to the cemetery. The cemetery is on the outskirts of Makassar, near the airport, and is a nice location with grass and trees in the older parts. Theo was buried in a newer section; it appears to us that they open new sections as needed, and assume that, since everything grows very quickly that this section will eventually have grass and trees also.
When we arrived, the grave had been dug. It is the custom here to put the body, wrapped in a shroud, directly into the ground without a casket, with a sort of wooden cover over the body so the earth does not go directly onto the body. Amir and the two ambulance men and several men from the cemetery lifted Mattheo's body from the ambulance and lowered it into the grave. An imam was there, and he and Amir stood down in the grave and said prayers over the body. Then the wooden covering was put over the body and the grave filled in. There is a simple wooden marker with Mattheo's name and date of death. After the grave was filled in and the marker set, Amir poured water in a ritual way all over the grave. Then the imam and Amir again said prayers over the grave. After the prayers, cut flowers and leaves were scattered on top of the grave, and a wooden frame placed around it. Amir told us that when he has money, he will go back and arrange for a stone marker around the grave.
Throughout all the events of the last several days, we have been immensely impressed with Amir's organizational skills, his careful thought to the best way to do things, and above all his great love for Mattheo. We believe Mattheo was blessed to have Amir as his good friend.
After the funeral, we all went back to our hotel for a well-deserved rest. Our friend Thierry arrived from France at about 6:30 pm, and we all went together to get some dinner.
Saturday morning Ron and Amir and I wrote some more email messages to the family describing the funeral and answering some other questions they had. One of Mattheo's brothers will be coming to Sulawesi fairly soon to deal with various legal and family matters. Then, with all currently necessary tasks completed, Amir, Ana, and Muli went back to Bira, and we and Thierry are now simply travelers again. This afternoon (Sunday) we fly to Bau Bau together, beginning the next chapter of the trip.
Love to all,
Ron and Ellen
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Last updated: 17 February 2012
